frostbite
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Post by frostbite on Jul 26, 2021 11:52:48 GMT 10
I thought couple sex was the two times a year you got it once you were married. Birthday amd Christmas usually.
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Tim Horton
Senior Member
Posts: 1,764
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Post by Tim Horton on Jul 27, 2021 5:59:24 GMT 10
There is such a thing as "pensioners sex"....
It is only once a month and not enough to get by on...
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Post by Joey on Jul 27, 2021 10:58:54 GMT 10
I thought couple sex was the two times a year you got it once you were married. Birthday amd Christmas usually. No, it usually starts after you drop the first kid
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stevo
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Post by stevo on Aug 3, 2021 21:30:10 GMT 10
lol, love forums like this.
I got one but its pretty dumb Q/A joke.
Q: why did the pine tree look so stoned?
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stevo
Full Member
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Post by stevo on Aug 5, 2021 1:37:51 GMT 10
lol tough crowd on this forum.
A: it had too many cones!
lmfao !!
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Beno
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Location: Northern Rivers
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Post by Beno on Aug 5, 2021 8:08:36 GMT 10
I detect some significant parallels in that last joke. 😉
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Post by SA Hunter on Aug 22, 2021 22:36:13 GMT 10
A young man went into confession crying, and told the priest:
“Forgive me father for I have sinned”.
“What have you done?” asked the priest.
“A few weeks ago I went to the library. I remained there until closing time and when I was about to go home, rain started pouring down. It was so intense I had to wait in the library. I had waited for a while with the librarian, a young attractive single girl, then one thing led to another, and I ended up sleeping with her”. The man stopped talking but kept weeping.
“Well don’t cry, it’s a sin but it is not that bad. You should say 5 Hail Marys and it will be forgiven”. Said the priest.
“But it doesn't end there” the man kept sobbing. “a few days later my elderly neighbour asked me to help her with her computer. Her husband was hospitalised and she couldn't send an email to her son. I went there and fixed the problem, but when I was about to leave, rain started pouring down. It was really stormy and I had to wait. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with the old lady” the man cried.
“Oh dear well that makes it harder indeed, but still - you should say 15 Hail Marys and you will be forgiven” Said the priest.
“Oh I’m afraid the worst part is still ahead” cried the man. “Yesterday I went to the barber. I was his last client that day. As soon as he finished and was about to close the shop rain started pouring down so intensely, I had to wait with him. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with him as well” the man cried.
“Oh dear, it is indeed worse than I thought” said the priest.
“So what should I do father?” the man asked.
“Well” answered the priest, “you should get the f#ck out of here before it starts raining!”
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Post by SA Hunter on Sept 5, 2021 21:43:14 GMT 10
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malewithatail
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Location: Northern Rivers NSW
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Post by malewithatail on Sept 6, 2021 8:07:39 GMT 10
I self identify as a tri sexual.....Ive tried everything !!
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captain
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Post by captain on Sept 11, 2021 22:06:42 GMT 10
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lost
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Post by lost on Sept 11, 2021 22:17:31 GMT 10
Real intelligent bloke that eh. No joke.
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Post by SA Hunter on Sept 15, 2021 23:36:18 GMT 10
A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said "I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.
The agent asked, "What's your name?"
The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."
The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name."
"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old. I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."
The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years.. you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling
you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you."
"So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said and he left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000.
The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...
"Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name.
Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian.
After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name.
I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent.
I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.
Thank you for your advice.. Sincerely, Dick van Dyke
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Tim Horton
Senior Member
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Post by Tim Horton on Sept 20, 2021 17:20:01 GMT 10
It is said the Taliban has opened up an army surplus store....
They call it Traitor Joes.....
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Post by SA Hunter on Sept 25, 2021 8:47:04 GMT 10
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Beno
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Location: Northern Rivers
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Post by Beno on Oct 27, 2021 10:59:52 GMT 10
I took my two shots and felt wonderful, invigorated, brimming with vitality. I will be taking my booster shot just as soon as the bartender gets back from his break.
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lost
Senior Member
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Post by lost on Nov 14, 2021 21:23:10 GMT 10
Damn grabblers!
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lost
Senior Member
Posts: 119
Likes: 65
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Post by lost on Nov 18, 2021 22:54:32 GMT 10
hey no bag.
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Post by SA Hunter on Dec 5, 2021 16:52:52 GMT 10
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